Mama Learns to Home School

I used to get this a lot.

I’d be pushing a double stroller that I managed to squeeze three kids into because I let one of them stand on a place someone was supposed to sit. Then another child would stand on the foot rest of that seat. I also used a caribeener (spelling?!) to attach the two nap mats and three back packs onto the handle bar. I’d squeeze my hands into what little space I could find and off we’d go.

Sometimes a kind person would run up to get the door. That felt nice, even though they’d often stand in front of the door and we couldn’t fit through it. I still felt seen. Somehow I felt a bit more energized when my condition was noted as difficult.

At my oldest child’s preschool, the security director actually installed an automatic door opener that works by waiving your hand over a sensor outside the door. The day he showed me how to use it, it was so clear he had done this for me, and a couple tears of gratitude strolled down my cheeks.

At least a few times I’d be chatting with a friend who was adjusting to a second baby at home, and we’d share stories of sleep deprivation or wild tempter tantrums. When this happens, I always endeavor to validate their feelings. Yes, it’s so hard. Sometimes I offer advice in the form a link to class that helped me or a doctor that can check out that ear infection, something like that. But mostly I try to listen, validate, and if it’s on a day I have a little extra oomph available from my own sleepy and frazzled demeanor, I try to also encourage.

Often that friend will end up saying “but I only have two! You have three, and they are so close together. I don’t know how you do it!”

I don’t know how you do it.

This one always gives me a significant pause. Am I actually doing it? And how am I doing it?

The truth is, I just do it. I do it because there isn’t any other way.

It’s hard and messy and I make mistakes so many times each day. I often have to apologize to me kids for my over reaction when I’m overstimulated. I spend many hours each day with my over the ear headphones on to muffle the regular noises of children having fun. I don’t eat well most days. Working out is a hurculean feat of determination. I could go on, but I won’t, because I’ve made a change in my perspective lately.

I’ve decided not to speak negatively about my circumstances whenever possible. I know I will fail and this will not be perfect. But I want to speak a new tone over my children and my home and my experiences. One that says we are doing this hard thing and we are doing it well!

It sounds like this.

I am incredibly strong for carrying three children in my body and my body can heal amazing things (this pain is not permanent).

My home is abundant and full of joy (not loud and messy).

I have pockets of time for what’s truly important to me (it’s ok if it’s not an hour straight of perfect uninterrupted bliss).

This is not manifestation or wishful thinking. It’s just truth. A new perspective.

For me, as a Christian, I am reminded of the power in The Word. Jesus. The Word became flesh. The Word was there in the beginning. Logos.

Did you feel power just reading that? Logos. I feel it every time.

So I am here, letting the Spirit teach me to be careful with my thoughts and words, friend. I am taking the responsibility to speak Jesus and faith and real truth over my circumstances.

It is not easy but it does have exponential returns.